To know Him and make Him known

This has been a crazy week, both for me and for the organization for which I work. On the heels of last weekend's excellent 20/20 Conference (with Danny Akin, Bill Brown, Mark Driscoll and C.J. Mahaney) has come a lot of deep thinking for me and a lot of brouhaha for the SBC.

The speakers all personally challenged me in my walk with the Lord, causing me to examine my heart, see deep-rooted sin in it and ask forgiveness for my self-worship and idolatry. I have FAR too often acted out of a self-focused heart and mind, instead of being focused on the glory of God...It has been a good challenge, but a challenge nonetheless. Seeing my own wickedness is never easy, but it is so good because it causes me to reflect on the goodness and fullness of Christ. My desire is to continue to know him and to make him known to others.

With that said, I see a lot of those same desires (to more fully know God and make him known) reflected by the leadership of this great institution where I work. I am especially honored and thankful this week for Southeastern, as lines are drawn in the sand over the hateful treatment of Mark Driscoll, after having him speak at this conference. Never have I been more thankful for the leadership here than this week. Led by Dr. Akin and others, this school is falling firmly on the side of Christ-like love to those who may hold differing views on minor issues. Instead of joining the fray about all of this (there is enough going on in the blog world about it), I just want to express my thanks to the Lord for raising up sound leaders such as Dr. Akin for such a time as this. I also want to say that I am SO thankful for men who will take a stand for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, rather than attacking their character over "every jot and tittle."

I don't know where the chips will fall on all of this, or if it will just die out eventually, but I am so grateful to God for the opportunity to learn, grow and be stretched by these issues under the leadership of Godly men. May we ALL unite under the Godliest of men - Jesus, God in the flesh - and and look together at how to know Christ and make him known.

Follows-Ups

There are two bits of information to share with my faithful blog readers (all 7 of you.)

1) Remember how that woman stopped me and asked if I needed help last week and I wasn't sure whether or not to be offended? I've decided I'm very thankful for her assistance.

The day she saw me was 2 days after a 15 year old boy was stabbed in my neighborhood. They haven't found the guy who stabbed him....Scary. The boy is OK, but it definitely makes me a lot more cautious in my walks and a lot more alert.

2) After my "funny fall" yesterday (see last post), I felt the need to repeat it, apparently. I was walking up the marble steps in my office building after class and had the same issue: My toe got caught in my pants as I was stepping up. Once again, I fell. Hard. This time I hurt my knee and my hand.

After a couple of emotionally rough days and the humiliation of falling TWICE in one day, this time having people see and fawn all over me, I sat on the steps and cried out of embaresment, exhaustion, pain and frustration. Then I went home.

I'm realizing how stubborn I am. Even when I know I need to stop, take a break, get in my Bible and follow hard after Jesus, I continue to push myself, fill my time with activities I don't NEED to do, and stay self-focused. God, in his sovereignty, allowed that fall, I think, to give me time to rest and focus on Him...Thankfully, I am feeling more myself today and more focused on the goodness of my Savior.

Praise the Lord for his protection: He protects me from men who stab children, and he protects me from my self-focused self. Thank you, Father.

I Keep On Falling...

Have I mentioned I have small feet for my height? I do. 5'8'' and I wear a 7 1/2. That's a less-than-stable support down there. Most girls my height wear about a 9 1/2 or so, so you see what I'm working with!

I often blamed my abnormally small feet as the reason that I fell A LOT in high school. I would fall down bleachers, walking down hallways, out of chairs (I know, this has nothing to do with foot size), off of sidewalks, etc. I have grown out of that habit, for the most part.

Fast forward to today.

I have been oddly out-of-sorts the last few days, so as I was walking into work this morning, I was praying the Lord would renew my heart and my mind, humble me, and take my heart of stone and replace it with a heart that follows hard after him. I was so caught up in my praying that I didn't notice my shoe getting...uh, caught up...in my pants until it was too late. I hit the cement. Hard.

Blame it on not paying attention, blame it on the insanely pointy-toed shoes I love to wear, blame it on my new European-style wide leg pants I'm sporting...Wherever the blame lies, so there also laid my body. As I was plunging forward, unable to catch myself for the two large bags I was carrying, my sunglasses flew off and I believe I yelled out something less than ladylike.

Thankfully, the only thing that was damaged (besides my skinned hands and knees) was my pride. I mean, I was asking the Lord to humble me. I guess I just didn't think it would be so literal. Pride goeth before a fall, though, right? Good gracious.

I would never make it in Hollywood.

I seem to be easily starstruck. By that, I don't mean I become a crazy rabid fan of some teeny-bopper idol, but I have this habit....When I am at a concert, and the opportunity presents itself to meet the musician, I usually try and take it, and I usually make a fool out of myself in the process.

Example A: Weekend Excursion
In high school my group of friends loved this song called "Moving On" by a little underground band named Weekend Excursion. At one of their concerts one night at Blue Cats in Knoxville, I got lucky enough to chat with the band before the show started. I was doing OK until I met the hot drummer, who had a completely normal name that I somehow massacred into "Cas," and then proceeded to call him - to his face - for the rest of the conversation. When he politely corrected me, I did some awkward hand motion and told him I was on a new name kick and was renaming everyone with unique names....Really?
EDIT: I just looked up his name and his name WAS Cas!! What on Earth was I calling him? Daggumit for forgetting and getting stories wrong...Eh, gimme a break - It was like 6 years ago.

Example B: Sister Hazel
At one of the Sister Hazel concerts I went to (yes, "one of" them...I've seen them quite a bit), my friends and I arrived slightly late to the stage area because we were riding one of the rides (the concert and rides were part of a summer festival). Every time they had a pause between songs, the 4 of us screamed out, "Champagne High!!" which was our favorite song...Much to our embarrassment, at the end of the show, one of the onlookers kindly informed us they actually opened the show with Champagne High, so we had been screaming/requesting the name of the first song they sang. When we met the lead singer after the show (duh...We had to get out t-shirts signed!) we apologized "for screaming for Champagne High between every song, but it's our favorite and would you mind to sing it for us now?"

So he did. We were personally serenaded by the lead singer of Sister Hazel with Champagne High. It was awesome.

Example C: Shane & Shane
Let me be clear from the outset here: I was not hitting on them, as BJ insinuated. While I think their music is amazing, they are a) married and b) not my type. Ok, moving on...

Last night, at the Phil Wickham, Bethany Dillon, Shane & Shane concert, I perfected the trifecta of embarresing meet and greets. As I was sitting waiting on the concert to start, I saw the Shanes chilling about 10 feet away and wanted to meet them/get my photo with them. I drug T along with me, even though she didn't want to go, and hovered near them until they weren't talking to any other fans. What proceeded out of my mouth was something like this.... "Um, by the way my name is Lauren. It's been kind of a rough month, and so I've been listening to Psalms constantly. So, I just wanted to thank you for that CD and thank you for writing it. I mean...Iknowyoudidn'twriteit - God did. But thanks for putting the words to music, because, as I'm sure you know, hearing the words in music helps me absorb them better. So thanks. Bytheway - Can I get a picture with you?"

Do I look flushed and embarressed? Because I was.
Hey - I never claimed to be a master at verbal communication!

That's all the stories I can muster up for now...I won't mention my almost-severely-awkward encounter with Dave Barnes...Stay classy, fellow starstruck fans :)

One of those days

Today is just "one of those days." I can already tell, and it's only 10:15 in the morning.

Upon waking, I found that I have somehow strained my back, probably from bad posture while sitting at the computer ALL FLIPPING DAY. I have been working on papers, etc., and have yet to actually be really productive at churning out words for them in order to finish. Funny, huh? Lack of things to say is rarely a problem for me.

Also upon waking, I discovered that it was really late....late, as in "I am supposed to be at work in 10 minutes kind of late." Granted, I'm not on time anyways, but this was bad, even for me. Gotta love baby powder for days like this for turning that two-day old hair blond again :)

On my way (almost) out the door, my darling pooch decided to throw a hissy-fit when it came time for him to go to the porch. Nevermind that it was a warmer morning and the porch comes equipped with chew toys, breakfast, fresh water and sunshine....He was having none of it. He throws his body to the ground, rolls on his back, opens his mouth and proceeds to wiggle/bite/claw/scratch my hands away whenever I try to grab his collar. I finally got ahold of him and went to go throw him outside, only to *ahem* forcefully open the porch door, right into my own face. Needless to say - it left a mark.

So here I sit, with work to do and papers to write, with a knot on my forehead and my heating pad on my back...Is it the weekend yet?

Three-Thought Tuesday

Three main things on my mind today:

1) www.noisetrade.com
This website is AWESOME! I downloaded several CDs for free (including Derek Webb's, Sandra McCracken's, Sixpence None the Richer's and Joe Garner's, my former boss at Union). All you have to do is recommend the CD to 5 people and it gives you a code to download the CD! I'm thoroughly enjoying my new, completely free, completely legal musical selections.

2) My grandma
Yesterday, before I left home, I went by with Daddy to see my grandma, who is 92. We looked in the window and didn't see her in her bed or in her wheelchair, so we went inside and asked the nurse where she was. Supposedly she was in her room, so we went to check, and sure enough, she was in her room, albeit laying on the floor, unable to move. She had fallen out of her chair trying to get into bed and couldn't call for help. She said her spine hurt (perhaps her tailbone, she has fractured it before), but her hips (both of which have been broken) seemed OK.

The sad part was that she began asking me why the Lord still has her here, and why she is still alive. I didn't know what to say, except that only God knows why she is still here, but as long as she is alive he has a reason for it, and we have to trust him, because he sees the big picture and we do not. The only thing that seemed to perk her up from my advice was me telling her Brian and I would be home at Christmas and would get to spend some time with her. She mis-heard me and thinks I am getting married at Christmas, so she's excited about that....Haha.

3) God's goodness

Not to sound like a "thus saith the Lord" kind of person, but God spoke so clearly and so sweetly to me yesterday, that I am left in awe. There have been questions I desperately wanted to ask, but realized it is not my place to ask, and not my place to know until/if he decided to reveal it to me...Reveal He did! Last night the veil lifted from in front of my face; the veil which I have felt has been obscuring the lessons I am supposed to be learning and understanding. Yesterday, for the first time, God lifted the veil and gave me answers to those very questions I was refusing to ask. The answer didn't come in the form of a verbal word from God, but from His Scripture, the faithful teaching of His word, and the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart. I'm not saying I fully understand or see everything, but He has given me enough insight to calm my heart and glory in His name! I didn't NEED the answer, I only needed to trust him. However, in this section of my "faith walk", I am learning to trust without questioning, yet God simultaneously is answering those very questions I have had! He is opening my eyes to new truths and new lessons. All I can say is that He is amazing, and oh so good!

That's all for today :) Hope it's been a great Tuesday for you!

Weary....

I am so tired.

This weekend was a good time of celebrating a friend's birthday, helping out with Bay Leaf's Toy Chest ministry, and studying, but I am left just as tired after two days of "rest" as I was before. I have been working my little tail off to get things done for work and school (1 paper down, 3 to go), and I am ready for a break, but I have another week of stress to go before that happens.

At this point, I'd be really excited if I could get my brain to shut off for a little while. Does that sound strange, considering I need it to be functioning to get all of my assignments and papers done? I definitely need brain power to accomplish the things I need to do, but it would be delightful if, in the rare few moments of mental breaks from work/school, I could truly just mentally rest. Instead, I find that at those moments, my mind and my thoughts attack me, until I am even more mentally wound up from trying to sort through things.

I desire rest, and an end to my mental struggles, but I have a sneaky suspicion it's not over yet. I need time to think things through, pray them through and work them out with the Lord, but I don't see that happening for at least another week or so...Knowing that fact then - that I won't be able to diligently pray/think/wrestle these issues for another week - why can I not just be patient in the meantime?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Lord, I beg you - free me from the prison of my own mind and my thoughts that drag me away from you. Fill me, and teach me to find rest and restoration in you and you alone.

SO.MUCH.TO.DO.

Here is a snapshot of what my life looks like right now, just in case you'd like to lament and whine with me:

Work:
Schaeffer conference article (Done)
Outlook magazine preparations
- Library renovations (done)
- Re-write Patterson Hall dedication
- BOV recap
Alumni newsletter
Re-write Williamson article

School:
-Book review over Cross-Cultural Connections (lots of pages) - due Tuesday
-Book review over Breaking Missional Code (6-8 pages) - due Thursday
-Reading review over Questioning Evangelism (1 page) - due Thursday
-Paper over Jonah (5 single-spaced pages) - due Friday
-Book review over some hermeneutics book I don't even possess right now (no idea how long) - due Friday after Thanksgiving break
-Read Cross-Cultural Servanthood, Cross-Cultural Conflict, and Called to Reach (which I also do not yet possess) by the week after Thanksgiving break


Is it safe to say I've hit the freak out point? I would think so. This means grumpy/stressed Lauren will be out in full force probably for the next week, so I apologize in advance. Christmas break can't get here soon enough.

Barely holding on...

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In Your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on)
I'm barely holding on to You

I had no idea how hard it is to surrender something you so desperately want. I guess that's what God calls us to, isn't it? He wants us to surrender that which we most desire, so our desire is only for Him.

Lord, I'm trying to hold on to You, but I am so weak. In Your strength, hold on to me. Carry me through into your marvelous light, Lord.

For His glory alone...

Bring the Rain
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through.
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You?
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord,
My only shelter from the storm,
But instead I draw closer through these times.
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace,
Bring the chance to be free,
Bring me anything that brings You glory.
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain,
But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain.

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain.
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain?
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace,
Bring the chance to be free,
Bring me anything that brings You glory.
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain,
But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain.

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
------------------------------------------

I have been reading in the book of Isaiah lately, and I am amazed every night when I pick it up what new truths the Lord reveals to me. In the midst of what seems to be like a dark time of confusion and searching, God is revealing to me anew what he revealed before time began.

The reality that I am learning is that no matter what circumstances I find myself in, what things I desire, what hopes are dashed, what confusion I feel - they do not change that God is God.

Before I existed, God knew I would be unfaithful to Him, and He loved me anyway. Before I was unfaithful to Him, He chose to accept the wrath that was due to me upon Himself. Before I walked through dark times of loneliness and rejection, Christ was rejected by His creation, so he knows and understands how I feel, although magnified a million times over.

Why? Why would he go to such great lengths to rescue rebellious and unfaithful people such as I? Why would he willingly suffer the punishment that I deserve? Why would he allow himself to be tempted in all things - so that I know he has gone before and knows my plight? Why do I continue to worship anything other than my God, who alone is worthy of my praise? WHY?

Through it all - his suffering, his resurrection, his pursuit of me, my suffering, my repentance, my bumbling attempts at pursuing His righteousness - through it all, HIS NAME BE PRAISED. Whatever God brings me to, whether it be joy or pain, may I never take my eyes off of Him and His unsurpassed glory. All of it is for naught if His name is not glorified.

God, I praise you in the midst of joy and of sadness. I praise you in the depths of my soul, though my flesh may fail me. God, be glorified in my life, whatever it takes.

Two Roads Diverged In a Wood

Just like Robert Frost in his famous poem, "The Road Not Taken," I feel like I am standing at a fork in the road of my life, looking down two paths.

However, I will not choose which path I take, but I surrender to whichever path the Lord has already laid out for me. Although, to me, one looks more pleasant than the other, I have a sense of peace and calm at whatever lies ahead. Whichever road I walk down tomorrow, in the weeks ahead, and in the years to come, I know the Lord has already walked that road ahead of me, and is walking it again with me, and through it all, there will be peace. Whichever side of the path he leads me down, know that there is peace, and for that, praise God.

"And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

However, of infinitely more value than that poem are the words of the Author of Love and my Sustainer:
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Waiting...

Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills...
~~
Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.
If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.
~~
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

~Psalm 74

So long, sweet Lucky

I lost a family member today. Our dog of 14 years was put to sleep this afternoon. Lucky was the best dog I could have grown up with - seriously.

There are so many things about him I'll miss: His black fur all over everything, his tail wagging in the morning when I come out into the hall, watching him scrounge the riverbed for rocks to dive for, taking him on long car trips and trying to force him to sit down so we could watch movies without him in the way, feeding him cat food these last couple of years, since he loved it so much, taking him to the Maryville College woods for walks, the way he'd walk expectantly around a room and lean into every person - giving them a "hug - until he found someone to pet him, taking him out to the barn when I would go see my horse Shadow, snuggling up on the floor with him, just because I needed a hug...

I am so thankful for pets. They teach us about how to love without reserve, to be jolly in all circumstances, to always look for the best in people, to ask expectantly, and to find joy in the simple things in life.

It may be simple to love an animal, but it's not easy to lose one. I am so thankful the Lord blessed my family with such an amazing dog for 14 years of my life. His life was truly a gift.

Sad day :(

It's our 2-month anniversary today.

Adrian and I had planned on spending the weekend together, complete with a Martina McBride concert Saturday and big church service on Sunday.

It's not happening now :(

Stupid sickness - destroying plans. Time to make new plans and enjoy this time the Lord has given me to myself, I suppose, right? Right.

Edit: My boyfriend is amazing, and whether he's here or there, I am blessed beyond belief by him. Thank you, God for such a gift.

Things That Make Me Go "Hmmm...."

Life is odd. Here are some thoughts:

1) It was record-breaking heat this weekend. Today, although it's mid-September, is still in the 90s. Mind you, that's fine with me, although I wouldn't complain if fall started soon. But why, oh why, in 80-90 degree heat was the heat on in my office building this weekend?? Lunacy.

2) Another thing that is lunacy is the GAS prices! Ridiculous! Many places here in Raleigh are sold out or charging an arm and a leg for a gallon of gas. For example, it ranges from $3.99 to $4.39 around my little ole' town. That's a jump of AT LEAST 40 cents from when I filled up pre-craziness, thanks to Adrian. The most ironic thing is that the price for a barrel of gas actually dropped to below $100 for the first time in a long while....Which should make prices go down, not up, right? Notsomuch, apparently.

3) Speaking of my amazing boyfriend, isn't it ironic that I - who swore never to do the long distance thing - am in love with someone who lives 4 hours away. It's not one of my favorite things about this relationship, let me tell you. However, also ironically enough, I am OK with it for now, even though it makes things more difficult. It just makes me appreciate the times we are together that much more, like this weekend when I get to see him!!

4) It is also somewhat funny (perturbing, whichever) that out of all the things in my bedroom, Ben decided to shred the one that inflicts pain on him. Last night, getting home from small group, I found shredded newspaper all over my room. Where did it come from? His whoopin' stick. It's the rolled up/taped up newspapers I use to spank him....If that's not an "in your face" I'm not sure what is. He wasn't super-selective though: He also got a hold of a blanket, an important undergarment and a favorite book.

A Year Has Come and Gone

Last night I went out with a bunch of my girlfriends, old and new, and had a tasty dinner and a good time. The dinner was especially neat because the six of us who went to the beach exactly a year ago this weekend together were all there. Labor Day marked a year since I moved here and began this journey and new segment of life. When I packed my Dad's Honda up and drove the 400+ miles to get here, I had no idea what on Earth I was getting into! Here's a quick recap of what has happened in the last 12 months of my life...

-When I first moved here, for 2 weeks I lived in the dorms at SEBTS. I was not so excited to move into the dorms, even temporarily, but my apartment wasn't ready. It turned out to be a great blessing, because the first nights there, I was able to become friends with a girl named Kristi, who invited me to spend my first weekend in NC at her parents' beach house with 4 other girls. That trip enabled me to meet some great girls, some of who I know will be in my life for a long time!- Two weeks later, I moved into my first home of my own, a darling little apartment that I share with my turtles and dog.
-I was able to completely furnish and decorate it for right around $1,000. Thus, my love of bargain-hunting was fueled and grew.- I started my first "big girl job" at Southeastern Seminary and began seeing my name published in magazines and on the web....that's a cool feeling.
- I have endured a saga of car-crap, and hope that it's over. Right before moving here, my car (Pearl) began showing signs of severe sickness, so I left it at home to get fixed and drove Dad's Honda over here. It broke down on me within a couple of weeks, then I found out mine was going to cost a pretty penny to repair, then I hit a deer with my Dad's car...I finally gave him his wheels back, and traded my old SUV in for an XTerra. It then showed signs of sickness, and then I hit a truck with it, causing $5,000 worth of damage to my own car. It had a few other issues after that, but I think/hope we're on the upswing now!- Within a couple of weeks of starting my job, I felt clearly God calling me to the mission field. It was something I had thought about before, but decided "I'd rather just do short-term trips", instead of committing to live overseas. I figured it would be easier, and I could still play by my own rules. God got ahold of my heart though, and now, I've "said the eternal yes." I'll go overseas when I finish school.
- Just a couple of weeks ago, I started classes to work on my Master of Arts in Intercultural Studies. It is kicking my butt right now, but I'm hoping to get used to it and graduate with my Master's within a couple of years.
- I met a couple of "interesting" guys, went on a few dates and decided I was quite content being single until God showed me otherwise.
- God showed me otherwise by putting an amazing man in my life, who I love and am now honored to call my boyfriend.- I finally made it out of the "VL" club :)
- I tried to find my dog a new home - unsuccessfully - for a couple of months and decided to keep him.- I went through a crazy spell of wanting to get 2 dogs, but decided since I was planning on going overseas in a couple of years, that wouldn't be a good idea.
- I bought a kayak.
- I watched my alma mater, Union, get hit and wrecked by a F-4 tornado.
- I returned to Union to try and help with clean-up efforts. While there, I got to see some old friends and watch my Zetas win Variety Show for another year.
- I got hit with the news last Sunday that my Dad has some serious medical issues he is dealing with (see posts below). Prayer is appreciated and needed.
- I have fallen deeper in love with the Lord, and I have been learning to rejoice in Him and his gift of salvation, no matter what circumstances I find myself in.

So there you go: A year of firsts! First job, first apartment, first boyfriend, first kiss, first "big" purchases of my car and kayak, first time dealing with serious health issues within my family....A lot has gone on, and I know the Lord is good and He is sovereign. To those of you who are a part of my life here in NC, I thank you for what you have done and how you have helped shape me over the past 12 months. For those of you who have been with me for longer than that, thanks for continuing to be in my life. I praise God for each of you.

Update on my Dad

Just wanted to share that Dad's surgery went well yesterday. They removed the melanoma and an inch and half of skin, and now we will wait for the pathology reports to let us know if they got it all. He is home now, and recuperating from a couple of days in the hospital. Thanks for all of the prayers offered on his behalf. The Lord is faithful, loving, sovereign and good. Praise Him for his blessings in our lives!

Daddy

Hi blog readers:

I was working on another blog earlier this week, but will have to post-pone it until I let you guys know what's going on in my family and what the Lord is doing in our lives.

Sunday when my parents visited, they told me my father has malignant melanoma on his back. This is the most severe and aggressive form of skin cancer. However, they were hesitant to operate to remove it and test to see if it had spread until they addressed problem #2 - his heart.

Tuesday, they went to the hospital for a consultation and were told he needed to have the heart issue addressed first before they could do anything that would require him to be put under. They said even after that procedure, it could be a few weeks until they could safely put him under to remove the melanoma. This morning, he underwent a procedure to see how much of a blockage he had in his cardiac arteries and to fix it.

I'm thankful to say that, although 2 of the three arteries were almost or completely blocked, the doctors were able to put stints in and take care of those. Praise God that he hadn't had a heart attack with that kind of blockage, that the procedure went well and that the doctors were pleased with the results. Also, praise the Lord, they will be doing the surgery to remove the melanoma tomorrow morning at 9:30 (Friday), taking advantage of this hospital stay and curbing as much spread of the cancer as possible by removing it so quickly.

I know a lot of you have been praying for my family during the last few days, and I thank you so much. We have all felt the prayers as we have felt an unexplainable peace about the whole situation. God is so good, and I know whatever happens, my Daddy is in the Best Surgeon's hands. May the Lord be glorified in all of this, for he is the one who is the assurer of salvation and eternal life.

For tomorrow, selfishly, I ask that you would continue to lift up my father as he undergoes another surgery, this one requiring anesthesia. Pray the doctors remove it all, and that the melanoma is shallow, so they won't have to do the lymph node mapping, which could be more dangerous for him. Pray that Daddy is able to heal quickly. I ask for prayers for my Mom as she supports Dad and stays with him. Ask the Father for his continued blessing of peace for both of them. Pray for the surgeon's hands to be skilled in both the cutting out of the cancer and "plugging" the hole left behind. Most of all though, pray that God's name be praised through all of this.

Thank you for sticking with us, praying for us, and supporting us. I love you guys!

Lauren's Week = A Really Fast Car Accelerating

This week has crawled/flown by and has been a bit of a brain strain, honestly.

I have swung from having only to work, with very little other responsibility, to a week where work is crazy, I have plunged full-throttle into classes, God is teaching me a ton, and my relationship with Adrian has become a major player in my life. It's literally like I went from 0 to 60 in 5.2.

This week I have also swung from having a crappy day of being stressed about the most minute details of life to a day where I'm completely at peace with where God has me. The circumstances didn't change, but praise God my outlook did. Thankfully, he showed me (over and over and over, in 1 day) that my treasure and joy is in him, and not in circumstantial things or people. How freeing to recognize that the source of my joy is solid and immovable - the salvation given to me through Christ.

So that bring me to today. Though I'm at peace, I am honestly just worn out by life! I have a decent bit of stuff to do tonight, including buying a planner, taking a trip to Wal-Mart, walking the dog/going to the dog park, going to pick up some jeans from the tailor, napping (?), packing, etc.

Packing, you say? Yes, packing for the big finale to my week: Going to visit Adrian in Walterboro/Charleston! I'm quite excited! It's going to be so good to get away and have some fun....oh yes, and to see my boyfriend ;) I can't wait!! I'm leaving tomorrow after class/work to go spend a few days in his neck of the woods and hear him preach on his Thailand trip. I don't know all the details, and I am A-OK with that. He's a good "activity planner" so I fully trust that it's going to be great. I'll post some pics and let you all know how it goes. Have a fabulous weekend!

Back from the beach....

Had a wonderful time at Oak Island with friends from church. There were about 20 of us that spent Saturday-Wednesday in a house directly on the beach, just hanging out, relaxing and spending some time studying Scripture together.

We discussed the concept of righteousness, how to pursue it, the importance of being in the Word, and the importance of holding on another accountable, among other things. Through this retreat, spending time with Heather, and being in a discipleship group with some godly girls, the Lord is really showing me areas my heart needs work in - there are a lot. I am so grateful though that He is opening my eyes to some new concepts for me, and I pray I continue to grow deeper in my relationship with Him.

It was a great time of rejuvenation and fun too! I spent a lot of time laying on the beach, soaking up some rays, napping under the umbrella, playing in the waves, playing football, kayaking, boogie-boarding, trying to learn to surf, talking to friends, catching up with people on the phone, taking long walks and enjoying being with some great people. Although I didn't really get a lot of sleep caught up on, I was able to relax, for which I was quite thankful.

I am trying to remember how peaceful I felt, now that I am back and looking at my bank account. Where does the money go? I don't know. I only know that somehow I have over $100 in overdraft charges at the moment, and I have used my card 2 times since the last one came in....How on Earth do I get myself into these messes? Never mind that I most definitely need to pay off some bills of mine....CRAP is all I have to say to that.

Can I go back to the beach yet and forget about money? Please???