I rejoice - but not enough

I feel like I ought to write, but in reality I am at a loss as to what exactly to put down on here. God has been teaching me a lot lately, but to even begin to try and articulate it on a blog would only serve to scratch the surface and not do justice to the lessons I seem to be learning.

All I know is that God is so good. He is good, and he is sovereign, and because of those, I rejoice. I rejoice because he is glorious, even when I can't even begin to comprehend the magnitude of it. He gives so many good gifts - In reality, all we deserve is punishment, so anything good or anything made good is a gift from our most merciful God.

So....yeah. Nothing funny today, just some introspection. Hope that's ok :)

Follows-Ups

There are two bits of information to share with my faithful blog readers (all 7 of you.)

1) Remember how that woman stopped me and asked if I needed help last week and I wasn't sure whether or not to be offended? I've decided I'm very thankful for her assistance.

The day she saw me was 2 days after a 15 year old boy was stabbed in my neighborhood. They haven't found the guy who stabbed him....Scary. The boy is OK, but it definitely makes me a lot more cautious in my walks and a lot more alert.

2) After my "funny fall" yesterday (see last post), I felt the need to repeat it, apparently. I was walking up the marble steps in my office building after class and had the same issue: My toe got caught in my pants as I was stepping up. Once again, I fell. Hard. This time I hurt my knee and my hand.

After a couple of emotionally rough days and the humiliation of falling TWICE in one day, this time having people see and fawn all over me, I sat on the steps and cried out of embaresment, exhaustion, pain and frustration. Then I went home.

I'm realizing how stubborn I am. Even when I know I need to stop, take a break, get in my Bible and follow hard after Jesus, I continue to push myself, fill my time with activities I don't NEED to do, and stay self-focused. God, in his sovereignty, allowed that fall, I think, to give me time to rest and focus on Him...Thankfully, I am feeling more myself today and more focused on the goodness of my Savior.

Praise the Lord for his protection: He protects me from men who stab children, and he protects me from my self-focused self. Thank you, Father.

An analogy for the day

Someone I love once turned me on to the beauty of analogies in conveying concepts and ideas. So, in an effort to more aptly share what it is God has been teaching me, here I go with an analogy...

Just like the opening lines of the song that is playing, "The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear, and I don't know the reason why You brought me here," I am in a place in life where the signs are unclear and I'm not entirely certain where I am supposed to be going or what I am supposed to be doing in the meantime.

I have two turtles (long story....but yes, I am aware that I am weird.). Splash and Scooter live in a 50 gallon tank, and while it is sufficiently big enough for them to happily live, they pollute the water with all kinds of nastiness. As they get fed, they often reject some of the food I provide for them. As they grow, the slough off dead skin cells, which make the water cloudy. And then, of course, the normal everyday waste builds up, just as a product of living.

Sunday, enough was enough. The water was murky enough to where I couldn't even see the turtles in there, much less believe they had a quality of life that was conducive to their growth as turtles. So, I took them out of the tank, put them in a small, dry, high-walled holding pen while I completely emptied the tank, cleaned out the junk of their lives, and then re-filled it. While they waited, unable to see or comprehend what I was doing, they struggled to get out of their temporary holding cell, several times jumping out of it and landing in a place they couldn't survive in. Once the tank was clean again, I gave them the necessary nutrients for a healthy life, fed them again, and enjoyed watching them happily resume a good quality of life.

Maybe our lives are kind of like those turtles. We live in a murky world of our own making - one filled with the remnants of our pasts and the rejection of good gifts. Our Maker desires for us to take everything he gives us and put it to proper use, so as not to "cloud the water," but all too often we reject it and allow those things that were intended as gifts to instead become hindrances to our seeing clearly. Thus, we can only see clearly when God sees fit to remove the muck and junk from our lives - not before and not by anything we do.

In the middle of the cleaning out process, we feel trapped, and unable to see what good this is doing us and where we are to go from here. Therefore, we struggle against the walls of our "safe zone" because it feels like a trap, tiring ourselves out, and sometimes launching ourselves into a place of danger we were never intended to be in - a place that certainly, if we continue to struggle to live in on our own, will eventually be our death. Instead, we must wait patiently for our Maker to place us back into the place we were intended to live in, the one filled with gifts and the necessary things to survive and thrive, and the place where things are clearly seen, knowing He wants what is best for us and will bring us abundant life.

What do you think about my "analogizing?" Maybe it's a bad one, but it has helped me to see things a lot clearer this week. I am left wondering what good things God is trying to give me that I am rejecting or misusing, thus allowing my life to be clouded to a point where I can't see. In the middle of these times of questions, I am learning what it means to trust: Trust that God is doing something good for me, even if I can't tell what it is, and trust that he loves me and desires for me to live an abundant life, His way.

I would never make it in Hollywood.

I seem to be easily starstruck. By that, I don't mean I become a crazy rabid fan of some teeny-bopper idol, but I have this habit....When I am at a concert, and the opportunity presents itself to meet the musician, I usually try and take it, and I usually make a fool out of myself in the process.

Example A: Weekend Excursion
In high school my group of friends loved this song called "Moving On" by a little underground band named Weekend Excursion. At one of their concerts one night at Blue Cats in Knoxville, I got lucky enough to chat with the band before the show started. I was doing OK until I met the hot drummer, who had a completely normal name that I somehow massacred into "Cas," and then proceeded to call him - to his face - for the rest of the conversation. When he politely corrected me, I did some awkward hand motion and told him I was on a new name kick and was renaming everyone with unique names....Really?
EDIT: I just looked up his name and his name WAS Cas!! What on Earth was I calling him? Daggumit for forgetting and getting stories wrong...Eh, gimme a break - It was like 6 years ago.

Example B: Sister Hazel
At one of the Sister Hazel concerts I went to (yes, "one of" them...I've seen them quite a bit), my friends and I arrived slightly late to the stage area because we were riding one of the rides (the concert and rides were part of a summer festival). Every time they had a pause between songs, the 4 of us screamed out, "Champagne High!!" which was our favorite song...Much to our embarrassment, at the end of the show, one of the onlookers kindly informed us they actually opened the show with Champagne High, so we had been screaming/requesting the name of the first song they sang. When we met the lead singer after the show (duh...We had to get out t-shirts signed!) we apologized "for screaming for Champagne High between every song, but it's our favorite and would you mind to sing it for us now?"

So he did. We were personally serenaded by the lead singer of Sister Hazel with Champagne High. It was awesome.

Example C: Shane & Shane
Let me be clear from the outset here: I was not hitting on them, as BJ insinuated. While I think their music is amazing, they are a) married and b) not my type. Ok, moving on...

Last night, at the Phil Wickham, Bethany Dillon, Shane & Shane concert, I perfected the trifecta of embarresing meet and greets. As I was sitting waiting on the concert to start, I saw the Shanes chilling about 10 feet away and wanted to meet them/get my photo with them. I drug T along with me, even though she didn't want to go, and hovered near them until they weren't talking to any other fans. What proceeded out of my mouth was something like this.... "Um, by the way my name is Lauren. It's been kind of a rough month, and so I've been listening to Psalms constantly. So, I just wanted to thank you for that CD and thank you for writing it. I mean...Iknowyoudidn'twriteit - God did. But thanks for putting the words to music, because, as I'm sure you know, hearing the words in music helps me absorb them better. So thanks. Bytheway - Can I get a picture with you?"

Do I look flushed and embarressed? Because I was.
Hey - I never claimed to be a master at verbal communication!

That's all the stories I can muster up for now...I won't mention my almost-severely-awkward encounter with Dave Barnes...Stay classy, fellow starstruck fans :)

Three-Thought Tuesday

Three main things on my mind today:

1) www.noisetrade.com
This website is AWESOME! I downloaded several CDs for free (including Derek Webb's, Sandra McCracken's, Sixpence None the Richer's and Joe Garner's, my former boss at Union). All you have to do is recommend the CD to 5 people and it gives you a code to download the CD! I'm thoroughly enjoying my new, completely free, completely legal musical selections.

2) My grandma
Yesterday, before I left home, I went by with Daddy to see my grandma, who is 92. We looked in the window and didn't see her in her bed or in her wheelchair, so we went inside and asked the nurse where she was. Supposedly she was in her room, so we went to check, and sure enough, she was in her room, albeit laying on the floor, unable to move. She had fallen out of her chair trying to get into bed and couldn't call for help. She said her spine hurt (perhaps her tailbone, she has fractured it before), but her hips (both of which have been broken) seemed OK.

The sad part was that she began asking me why the Lord still has her here, and why she is still alive. I didn't know what to say, except that only God knows why she is still here, but as long as she is alive he has a reason for it, and we have to trust him, because he sees the big picture and we do not. The only thing that seemed to perk her up from my advice was me telling her Brian and I would be home at Christmas and would get to spend some time with her. She mis-heard me and thinks I am getting married at Christmas, so she's excited about that....Haha.

3) God's goodness

Not to sound like a "thus saith the Lord" kind of person, but God spoke so clearly and so sweetly to me yesterday, that I am left in awe. There have been questions I desperately wanted to ask, but realized it is not my place to ask, and not my place to know until/if he decided to reveal it to me...Reveal He did! Last night the veil lifted from in front of my face; the veil which I have felt has been obscuring the lessons I am supposed to be learning and understanding. Yesterday, for the first time, God lifted the veil and gave me answers to those very questions I was refusing to ask. The answer didn't come in the form of a verbal word from God, but from His Scripture, the faithful teaching of His word, and the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart. I'm not saying I fully understand or see everything, but He has given me enough insight to calm my heart and glory in His name! I didn't NEED the answer, I only needed to trust him. However, in this section of my "faith walk", I am learning to trust without questioning, yet God simultaneously is answering those very questions I have had! He is opening my eyes to new truths and new lessons. All I can say is that He is amazing, and oh so good!

That's all for today :) Hope it's been a great Tuesday for you!

Giving Thanks

I am about to go destroy some turkey, dressing and mashed potatoes, so I'll make this quick :)

Things I am giving thanks for today:
-The One who is my Savior, Best Friend, Redeemer, Lord, King, Comforter, Provider, Great High Priest, and God.
He has given me so many good gifts, including:
-Himself
-Salvation
-Family, both blood-relations and my Church family
-Friends, both human and canine :)
-Love: What an incredible thing to give and recieve
-A great job in the midst of economic uncertainty
-Safety
-A roof over my head
-Provisions of food and sustenance
-Health
-Technology wich makes things easier
-Discipline, which makes things harder, but makes us holier
-Purpose in life
-Faith

That's all for now. Those things can be "unpacked" and expounded upon, but you get the idea. There is so much to be thankful for, and none of it apart from the incredible blessings and riches of Christ.

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." -Psalm 100

Out of the silence, and singing His praises

Well, I'm back in the blogosphere. If you're reading this, thanks for sticking with me. :)

I don't know how to begin to summarize what has been going on in my life, my head, my heart and my spirit. There has been a lot, and although some of the lessons have been less-than-pleasant to go through, I am rejoicing that God is putting me through the tough times, because it's taking me to a deeper level of faith than I have been in before.

I have spoken the words of David this week when he said, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13) and "To you I call, O Lord, my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit." (Psalm 27).

To find myself at a point where God is silent before me has been really hard. As long as I can remember, I have heard the voice of the Lord guiding me, comforting me and giving me peace. This week, nothing but silence stretched out in front of me, at a point when I feel I need it most. However, through the silence and the time of spiritual darkness, God has been good, and has been teaching me. Here are a few things I have learned/am still learning:

- The silence is a beautiful thing. In it, I am forced to stop the "temper tantrum" I am throwing, which is exhausting me, and just listen for the quiet whisper of the Lord.
- Even when I don't hear a whisper from God, I can be confident that HE IS STILL THERE. No matter what I am feeling, or how silent He may (seem to) be, I have faith that His presence is just as near as ever.
- Times of silence teach me to fall more in love with the Gift-Giver, rather than the gifts he gives or the words he speaks.
- When I seek him out of desperation, or because I want out of my circumstances or pain, I am not treating the Lord as he ought to be treated. Rather, I am treating him like a genie who should snap his fingers and change my life, instead of praising him for being God and doing and knowing what will bring him the most glory. I must learn to faithfully seek Him at all times, not only in rough times as a solution to pain, but out of a thankful heart as God.
- Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. He wants to turn our wailing into dancing. Even when we don't "feel" like rejoicing, we must, because He is God, and He is good, and that is enough.
- The silence has shown me those things I have been trusting in more than I trust in the Lord, and thankfully, God is merciful and forgives me for my idolatrous heart when I ask.
- His presence is something I will never lose, will always hunger for more of, and will never fully grasp. How deep the unsearchable riches of Christ!

I am discovering that even when things make me sad, God is using even those experiences to refine me and sanctify me, making me more holy and more fit for Him to use. Using the example of when Jesus broken the 5 loaves and fed 5,000 with it, I'm going to steal a line from one of my favorite books: "If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad."

Though it's been a rough week spiritually, I am here, and I am thankful. God is still God, no matter what petty issues of the heart come up in my life. I am so thankful He is breaking me, because I trust Him that the brokenness will make me holy, and the pieces will feed many, and more than just me. He gives all, and He asks all. Am I willing to surrender all?

I have spoken with David this week, crying out from the darkness of my heart for the Lord to not be silent and to hear me. He has also spoken to me this week, and all I can now do is echo David's words, "I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths. I called to you for help and you healed me...Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

Silence.....

Three posts in a day. That might be a new record for me.

This one is just a quick note to let you guys know that I'm taking a break from blogging for a bit. I don't know how long, but I need to be quiet before the Lord and try and figure out what He is teaching me. My mind is jumbled and my heart strays so easily, so I need to cut out those things (however petty) that provide solace and comfort for me, including Facebook and blogging, so I can learn how to be comforted by the Lord and seek only Him. So, for now, I am going to try to be silent before a holy God and learn what I need to during this period of my life.

Thanks for reading. I would love it if you would pray for me during this time, that during this silence, God would reveal himself to me in new and fresh ways, that he would teach me what I need to know so I don't have to go through this again, and that my heart would be yielded only to him.

At some point, I will look forward to sharing what I have learned through this. Blessings - Lauren

Wait for it....

Waiting is hard to do for me. I tend to be an impatient person, which, as I am learning, is very un-Christ-like of me and a poor reflection of the immeasurable amount of patience the Lord has. One of the aspects of the fruit of the Spirit is patience, and when I don't have patience, it really is just me being unfaithful to God. Has he not promised to take care of me and reveal all things I need to know in His perfect timing? Of course he has. Now, I must wait for it.

"Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it lingers (or tarries), wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3

Although this passage in Habakkuk speaks of the coming day of the Lord, it also speaks directly into my heart today, as I find myself in a "holding pattern," waiting and seeking direction from the Lord. Today, I am okay with waiting, for I know that which God has promised to me will happen, though likely in a way and time-frame of which I know nothing about.

Waiting is not a comfortable place for me, but it is in this time that I am finding myself on my knees the most, beseeching God to fill me with the Holy Spirit and patience and faithfulness. As I walk through this "valley of waiting" I am in, I am trying to drink deeply of the One who supplies peace like a river, restoration of the soul, and most importantly - the gift of Himself.

As I wait on answers to some very specific questions, I am realizing that this time is precious. In this waiting, I am coming to know my Savior more intimately, I am realizing His glory more fully, and I am recognizing more clearly how far off I am from worshiping and delighting in Him as I should be.

In the meantime, while those answers as yet tarry, God is keeping my mind and heart busy with others things - school (papers, book reviews, etc.), planning for my upcoming trip to Amsterdam, looking ahead to other work trips (so exciting, more to come at a later date!), looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas and my birthday....

Mostly, during this time, I am focusing on desiring God more, because it is only when I glory in Him will I find joy. More than my joy, though, is the realization that my joy in God is a fraction of the delight He gets as we delight in Him. That's what I want - For Him to be delighted and glorified in me. As Piper states - God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

"For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God...For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." - Romans 4:20-25

And so....I wait patiently, delighting in the Lord...hoping, because it's not over yet.

For His glory alone...

Bring the Rain
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through.
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You?
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord,
My only shelter from the storm,
But instead I draw closer through these times.
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace,
Bring the chance to be free,
Bring me anything that brings You glory.
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain,
But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain.

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain.
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain?
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace,
Bring the chance to be free,
Bring me anything that brings You glory.
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain,
But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain.

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
------------------------------------------

I have been reading in the book of Isaiah lately, and I am amazed every night when I pick it up what new truths the Lord reveals to me. In the midst of what seems to be like a dark time of confusion and searching, God is revealing to me anew what he revealed before time began.

The reality that I am learning is that no matter what circumstances I find myself in, what things I desire, what hopes are dashed, what confusion I feel - they do not change that God is God.

Before I existed, God knew I would be unfaithful to Him, and He loved me anyway. Before I was unfaithful to Him, He chose to accept the wrath that was due to me upon Himself. Before I walked through dark times of loneliness and rejection, Christ was rejected by His creation, so he knows and understands how I feel, although magnified a million times over.

Why? Why would he go to such great lengths to rescue rebellious and unfaithful people such as I? Why would he willingly suffer the punishment that I deserve? Why would he allow himself to be tempted in all things - so that I know he has gone before and knows my plight? Why do I continue to worship anything other than my God, who alone is worthy of my praise? WHY?

Through it all - his suffering, his resurrection, his pursuit of me, my suffering, my repentance, my bumbling attempts at pursuing His righteousness - through it all, HIS NAME BE PRAISED. Whatever God brings me to, whether it be joy or pain, may I never take my eyes off of Him and His unsurpassed glory. All of it is for naught if His name is not glorified.

God, I praise you in the midst of joy and of sadness. I praise you in the depths of my soul, though my flesh may fail me. God, be glorified in my life, whatever it takes.

Two Roads Diverged In a Wood

Just like Robert Frost in his famous poem, "The Road Not Taken," I feel like I am standing at a fork in the road of my life, looking down two paths.

However, I will not choose which path I take, but I surrender to whichever path the Lord has already laid out for me. Although, to me, one looks more pleasant than the other, I have a sense of peace and calm at whatever lies ahead. Whichever road I walk down tomorrow, in the weeks ahead, and in the years to come, I know the Lord has already walked that road ahead of me, and is walking it again with me, and through it all, there will be peace. Whichever side of the path he leads me down, know that there is peace, and for that, praise God.

"And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

However, of infinitely more value than that poem are the words of the Author of Love and my Sustainer:
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Waiting...

Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills...
~~
Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.
If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.
~~
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

~Psalm 74

Another Anti-Obama Perspective

This was sent to me via e-mail, and I think it's worth a read! It's an opinion piece by Huntley Brown, a Christian concert pianist. I admire and applaud his stance, however unpopular with his peers. Just wanted to pass along another perspective on the damage that could/will be wrought under and Obama presidency. (This is my last political blog for a bit, too :)

Why I Can't Vote For Obama......By Huntley Brown

Dear Friends,

A few months ago I was asked for my perspective on Obama, I sent out an email with a few points. With the election just around the corner I decided to complete my perspective. Those of you on my e-list have seen some of this before but it's worth repeating... First I must say whoever wins the election will have my prayer support. Obama needs to be commended for his accomplishments but I need to explain why I will not be voting for him. Many of my friends process their identity through their blackness. I process my identity through Christ. Being a Christian (a Christ follower) means He leads, I follow. I can't dictate the terms, He does because He is the leader. I can't vote black because I am black; I have to vote Christian because that's who I am. Christian first, black second. Neither should anyone from other ethnic groups vote because of ethnicity. 200 years from now I won't be asked if I was black or white. I will be asked if I knew Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior.

In an election there are many issues to consider but when a society gets abortion, same-sex marriage, embryonic stem-cell research, human cloning - to name a few - wrong, then wrong economic concerns will soon not matter. We need to follow Martin Luther King's words, 'don't judge someone by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.' I don't know Obama, so all I can go on is his voting record. His voting record earned him the title of the most liberal senator in the US Senate in 2007. NATIONAL JOURNAL: Obama: Most Liberal Senator in 2007 (01/31/2008) To beat Ted Kennedy and Hilary Clinton as the most liberal senator, takes some doing. Obama accomplished this feat in 2 short years. I wonder what would happen to America if he had four years to work with. There is a reason Planned Parenthood gives him a 100 % rating. There is a reason the homosexual community supports him. There is a reason Ahmadinejad, Chavez, Castro, Hamas etc. love him. There is a reason he said he would nominate liberal judges to the Supreme Court. There is a reason he voted against the infanticide bill. There is a reason he voted 'No' on the constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. There is a reason he voted 'No' on banning partial birth abortion. There is a reason he voted 'No' on confirming Justices Roberts and Alito. These two judges are conservatives and they have since overturned partial birth abortion, the same practice Obama wanted to continue.

Let's take a look at the practice he wanted to continue. The 5 Step Partial Birth Abortion procedures:
A. Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby's leg with forceps. (Remember this is a live baby)
B. The baby's leg is pulled out into the birth canal.
C. The abortionist delivers the baby's entire body, except for the head.
D. The abortionist jams scissors into the baby's skull. The scissors are then opened to enlarge the hole.
E. The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted. The child's brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The dead baby is then removed. God help him.

There is a reason Obama opposed the parental notification law. Think about this: You cannot give a child an aspirin without parental notification but that same child can have an abortion without parental notification. This is insane.

There is a reason Obama went to Jeremiah Wright's church for 20 years. Obama tells us he has good judgment, but he sat under Jeremiah Wright's teaching for 20 years. Now he is condemning Wright's sermons. I wonder why now? Obama said Jeremiah Wright led him to the Lord and discipled him. A disciple is one in training. Jesus told us in Matthew 28:19 - 20 'Go and make disciples of all nations.' This means reproduce yourself. Teach people to think like you, walk like you; talk like you believe what you believe etc.

The question I have is what did Jeremiah Wright teach him? Would you support a White President who went to a church which has tenets that said they have a:
1. Commitment to the White Community
2. Commitment to the White Family
3. Adherence to the White Work Ethic
4. Pledge to make the fruits of all developing and acquired skills available to the White Community.
5. Pledge to Allocate Regularly, a portion of Personal Resources for Strengthening and Supporting White Institutions
6. Pledge allegiance to all White leadership who espouse and embrace the White Value System
7. Personal commitment to embracement of the White Value System.

Would you support a President who went to a church like that? Just change the word from white to black and you have the tenets of Obama's former church. If President Bush was a member of a church like this, he would be called a racist. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton would have been marching outside. This kind of church is a racist church. Obama did not wake up after 20 years and just discover he'd been going to a racist church. The TRUE church can't be about race. Jesus did not come for any particular race. He came for the whole world. A church can't have a value system based on race. The church's value system has to be based on biblical mandates. It does not matter if it's a white church or a black church based on racial values, it's still wrong. Anyone from either race that attends a church like this would never get my vote.

Obama's former Pastor Jeremiah Wright is a disciple of liberal theologian James Cone, author of the 1970 book The Goals of the Black Community. "If God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him." Cone is the man Obama's mentor looks up to. Does Obama believe this?

So what does all this mean for the nation? In the past when the Lord brought someone with the beliefs of Obama to lead a nation it meant one thing - judgment. Read 1 Samuel 8 when Israel asked for a king. First God says in 1 Samuel 1:9 'Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do.' Then God says in 1 Samuel 1:18 ' When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day. But the people refused to listen to Samuel. 'No!' they said. 'We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.' When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the LORD. The LORD answered, 'Listen to them and give them a king.'

Here is what we know for sure. God is not schizophrenic. He would not tell one person to vote for Obama and one to vote for McCain. As the Scripture says, a city divided against itself cannot stand, so obviously many people are not hearing from God. Maybe I am the one not hearing but I know God does not change and Obama contradicts many things I read in Scripture so I doubt it. For all my friends who are voting for Obama can you really look God in the face and say, "Father, based on your word, I am voting for Obama even though I know he will continue the genocidal practice of partial birth abortion. He might have to nominate three or four Supreme Court justices, and I am sure he will be nominating liberal judges who will be making laws that are against you. I also know he will continue to push for homosexual rights, even though you destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for this. I know I can look the other way because of the economy."

I could not see Jesus agreeing with many of Obama's positions. Finally I have two questions for all my liberal friends. Since we know someone's value system has to be placed on the nation,
1. Whose value system should be placed on the nation?
2. Who should determine that this is the right value system for the nation?

Blessings,
Huntley Brown

When questioned about the truth of the e-mail, Brown confirmed that he did in fact write it, though it was only intended for friends who had asked him to vote for Barack Obama. He added that although he has problems with both candidates, his differences with McCain "pale in comparison" to those he has with Obama. Brown, who says he is not registered as a Democrat or Republican, said he is looking forward to voting for a black president, however, it will not be Barack Obama because their views are "diametrically opposed." Furthermore, Brown expressed sadness that although "our beautiful black women constitute only 6% of the population, they comprise 36% of the abortion industry's clientele. Obama has done nothing to stop this. Most people don't know that the leading abortion providers have chosen to exploit us blacks by locating 94% of their abortuaries in urban neighborhoods with high black populations. Obama has done nothing to stop this. To be honest, I can't wait to vote for the first black president but it has to be someone who shares the values I read in the Bible."

3 Weeks Out: Why I'm NOT Voting for Barack Obama

Let's face it: This election is unlike any we've ever seen before. We have new issues to deal with and new fears on the horizon. My greatest fear at the moment is seeing a man who is so frighteningly unknown, with so many dangerous ties running our country. At the beginning of election season, I made the statement that I "was OK if Obama won." Not any more. The more I have looked into his past, the more clear it is to me that he should not be president of the United States. His history speaks louder to me than his smooth-words. Regardless of the fact that McCain isn't perfect, also has weak spots and isn't as good of an orator, he will get my vote on Election Day.

1. Obama's stance on abortion.
This article by Robert P. George of Princeton University is gaining a lot of attention here at Southeastern. While long, it's worth a read. Some of the most startling things to me are:
-"He has promised to seek repeal of the Hyde Amendment, which has for many years protected pro-life citizens from having to pay for abortions that are not necessary to save the life of the mother and are not the result of rape or incest."
-"As an Illinois state senator Obama opposed legislation to protect children who are born alive, either as a result of an abortionist’s unsuccessful effort to kill them in the womb, or by the deliberate delivery of the baby prior to viability...But Barack Obama opposed it and worked to defeat it. For him, a child marked for abortion gets no protection—even ordinary medical or comfort care—even if she is born alive and entirely separated from her mother. So Obama has favored protecting what is literally a form of infanticide."
-"They tell us not to worry that Obama opposes the Hyde Amendment, the Mexico City Policy (against funding abortion abroad), parental consent and notification laws, conscience protections, and the funding of alternatives to embryo-destructive research. They ask us to look past his support for Roe v. Wade, the Freedom of Choice Act, partial-birth abortion, and human cloning and embryo-killing. An Obama presidency, they insist, means less killing of the unborn. This is delusional."

2. Obama's faith background
-Obama's church, up until spring of 2008 when things got sticky for him, was Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. Looking at the tenets of this church, their focus, and their mission scares me, because ostensisibly, those same ideals are shared by Obama, who was a member there for many years. Maybe I'm more stupid than I thought, but I thought the purpose of church was to meet with other believers, encouraging one another, spurring one another on toward Christ, and living as salt and light in a world of darkness. Somehow, reinventing Africa didn't seem to be on the list of priorities for the early church fathers. As a Christian it appalls me that his "faith" rests on such shaky spiritual soil. If that's what he learned in 20 years of being in that church, it is frightening to think what might come out of him when he's not campaigning.
-"We are a congregation which is Unashamedly Black and Unapologetically Christian... Our roots in the Black religious experience and tradition are deep, lasting and permanent. We are an African people, and remain "true to our native land," the mother continent, the cradle of civilization. God has superintended our pilgrimage through the days of slavery, the days of segregation, and the long night of racism. It is God who gives us the strength and courage to continuously address injustice as a people, and as a congregation. We constantly affirm our trust in God through cultural expression of a Black worship service and ministries which address the Black Community." ~Taken from the church's website
-Jeremiah Wright, former pastor of that church, has been called a "father figure" by Obama and a radical by others. His sermons often attacked the government, America itself, and the actions done by those parties, which, he said, were the justified reasons for the attacks of September 11, and more.
-"Initially Obama argued that Wright's statements were taken out of context and played in a loop for heightened effect. But when it was discovered that there was more, Obama took a different line. He claimed that he had personally never heard Wright speak like this and that he knew nothing of his father figure's virulent anti-Americanism...It is completely unbelievable he would not know about the belief system of the person who was his confidant for nearly 20 years. After all, Wright did not even try to conceal his views, but propounded them openly from the pulpit of his church. Yet Obama wants us to believe that he was the only one in that congregation who knew nothing of Wright's disdain for his country." ~ "Why Islamists Cheer for Obama" by Vasko Kohlmayer
-Do we want our president to be a man who - for 20 years - sat under, honored and regarded highly a man like Jeremiah Wright, who so clearly and unapologetically disdains this very nation?

3. Obama's connections with Islam
- Regardless of whether or not you think Barack Obama is truly a believer in Christ (I don't know and it's not my place to decide), his coziness with Islam has many a person in this country worried. Lest we forget, it was Muslim extremists who were responsible for 9/11. Surely I'm not the only one who hesitates to put someone in office who has so many ties to Islam.
-Obama wrote that he attended a Muslim school, where he studies the Quran. His 1/2 brother calls his background Muslim. His college roomies at Occidental were Pakistani. I'm not saying upbringing is everything and that he's "guilty" by association, but the fact remains that he has been more exposed to and raised in Islamic thought processes than the average politician, a fact which makes me uncomfortable about his motives.
- Some of the loudest supporters of Obama's campaign have been radical Muslims. Louis Farrakhan (The Nation of Islam leader) and Ahmed Yousef (a public relations man for the terrorist organization Hamas) have both been vocal in their support of Obama.
- Obama has made several "mistakes" that could easily be explained away, or they could easily be slip-ups that he is covering up a Muslim background. For example, he "misspoke" by saying, "John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith." Muslim faith?? If, as a true believer in Christ and a worshiper of the Creator God, you "slip up" and mention a contrary faith as your own, you're either a blasphemer, an idiot, or a liar. Maybe all three.
-In his book "Audacity of Hope," (the title of which was taken from one of Jeremiah Wright's sermons) Obama wrote, "I will stand with them (Muslims and other groups) should the political winds shift in an ugly direction."

Although I've touched on a few issues, there are a lot of questions and accusations left out there. Do some research and look some of this stuff up. Look at the historical facts, not at the charismatic talk coming out of his mouth today!
-Muslim Fingerprints in Obama's History
-Obama's ACORN tree
-Why Islamists Cheer for Obama

I realize I am probably going to be absolutely bombarded with crap for writing this, and honestly, that doesn't concern me too much. What DOES concern me is the American people putting a man into office who has so many shady connections, politically and religiously. I believe Americans truly desire positive change. That change will not come from a president or his policies, but only through the transforming power of Christ in people's hearts and lives.

However, it only takes one man in a position of power to effect negative change. Take Lucifer, for example. Not trying to compare the two but....Please, think about the reasons you're considering voting for Barack Obama. There are a whole lot of issues at stake in this election. Please look beyond the hype and the smooth-talking Senator and vote based on character.

So long, sweet Lucky

I lost a family member today. Our dog of 14 years was put to sleep this afternoon. Lucky was the best dog I could have grown up with - seriously.

There are so many things about him I'll miss: His black fur all over everything, his tail wagging in the morning when I come out into the hall, watching him scrounge the riverbed for rocks to dive for, taking him on long car trips and trying to force him to sit down so we could watch movies without him in the way, feeding him cat food these last couple of years, since he loved it so much, taking him to the Maryville College woods for walks, the way he'd walk expectantly around a room and lean into every person - giving them a "hug - until he found someone to pet him, taking him out to the barn when I would go see my horse Shadow, snuggling up on the floor with him, just because I needed a hug...

I am so thankful for pets. They teach us about how to love without reserve, to be jolly in all circumstances, to always look for the best in people, to ask expectantly, and to find joy in the simple things in life.

It may be simple to love an animal, but it's not easy to lose one. I am so thankful the Lord blessed my family with such an amazing dog for 14 years of my life. His life was truly a gift.

Why today is a good day....

1) It's the first day of fall, which happens to be one of my favorite seasons
2) The weather is GORGEOUS, telling me -not only that it's fall- but that it's going to be a good fall!
3) I comfortably busted out a long-sleeved shirt today...Time to reverse the wardrobe again!
4) I ate Moe's for lunch
5) My incredible boyfriend was here for the weekend with me, and I'll see him again next week!
6) Bedtime came early the last 2 nights, praise the Lord! It felt so good.
7) I have been able to daydream about fun trips to take, which is always a nice mental vacay
8) My voice is back in a big way. No singing yet, but, boy, am I talking!
9) My Fantasy Football team whooped up on Jason's (my boss's) this week. Reminds me of the day I did my interview and beat everyone in the office at PIG...
10) Also, the gazing balls are back in full-force on the lawn. Not all of you will know what I am talking about, but some will. The world seems right again now that they have returned from a several week hiatus :)

Lastly, but certain not the least reason my day is good, is that I am being challenged today to love my Savior more. Seeing that he's the only certain good thing in my life, that's a pretty good place to be....

Update on my Dad

Just wanted to share that Dad's surgery went well yesterday. They removed the melanoma and an inch and half of skin, and now we will wait for the pathology reports to let us know if they got it all. He is home now, and recuperating from a couple of days in the hospital. Thanks for all of the prayers offered on his behalf. The Lord is faithful, loving, sovereign and good. Praise Him for his blessings in our lives!

Daddy

Hi blog readers:

I was working on another blog earlier this week, but will have to post-pone it until I let you guys know what's going on in my family and what the Lord is doing in our lives.

Sunday when my parents visited, they told me my father has malignant melanoma on his back. This is the most severe and aggressive form of skin cancer. However, they were hesitant to operate to remove it and test to see if it had spread until they addressed problem #2 - his heart.

Tuesday, they went to the hospital for a consultation and were told he needed to have the heart issue addressed first before they could do anything that would require him to be put under. They said even after that procedure, it could be a few weeks until they could safely put him under to remove the melanoma. This morning, he underwent a procedure to see how much of a blockage he had in his cardiac arteries and to fix it.

I'm thankful to say that, although 2 of the three arteries were almost or completely blocked, the doctors were able to put stints in and take care of those. Praise God that he hadn't had a heart attack with that kind of blockage, that the procedure went well and that the doctors were pleased with the results. Also, praise the Lord, they will be doing the surgery to remove the melanoma tomorrow morning at 9:30 (Friday), taking advantage of this hospital stay and curbing as much spread of the cancer as possible by removing it so quickly.

I know a lot of you have been praying for my family during the last few days, and I thank you so much. We have all felt the prayers as we have felt an unexplainable peace about the whole situation. God is so good, and I know whatever happens, my Daddy is in the Best Surgeon's hands. May the Lord be glorified in all of this, for he is the one who is the assurer of salvation and eternal life.

For tomorrow, selfishly, I ask that you would continue to lift up my father as he undergoes another surgery, this one requiring anesthesia. Pray the doctors remove it all, and that the melanoma is shallow, so they won't have to do the lymph node mapping, which could be more dangerous for him. Pray that Daddy is able to heal quickly. I ask for prayers for my Mom as she supports Dad and stays with him. Ask the Father for his continued blessing of peace for both of them. Pray for the surgeon's hands to be skilled in both the cutting out of the cancer and "plugging" the hole left behind. Most of all though, pray that God's name be praised through all of this.

Thank you for sticking with us, praying for us, and supporting us. I love you guys!

I know, I know!

I have been praying the Lord would open opportunities up for me to meet non-believers and share with them.

Most of my time here, I feel like I live in a bubble (Bay Leaf friends, you know the illustration I'm talking about :) . I work at a seminary, go to church, and don't really interact with a lot of people on a personal basis who I know are non-believers. So, I've been asking the Lord to give me some opportunities to talk about him!

Chance #1) Last week on my way to church, it was monsoon-ing. I am talking a serious downpour here. As Lindsay and I were driving along in my car, I saw a woman walking along the side of the road, completely drenched, going who knows where. I thought about it, but didn't stop to offer her a ride. I even mentioned it to Lindsay after we had passed her, and still kept driving. For goodness's sake, I was on my way to church and didn't stop.
Chance #2) Yesterday, on my way to my car at lunch time, a woman walked up to me asking for money for McDonald's for some food. I told her I didn't have any cash on me (I had a $20...). She asked if I was going to McDonald's, and I told her honestly that I was headed in the opposite direction. I thought about offering for her to come eat lunch with my friend and I downtown, which is where I was headed. Once again, I didn't.

What is wrong with me? Why am I so weak and scared that I can't even offer to help someone out who is obviously in need? Is it that I am just afraid of being inconvenienced? I think that's a large part of it. I have been asking for these chances, but since they don't come prettily wrapped as something easy for me to do, I bypass the chance. The Lord was inconvenienced for my sake; he died on a cross for me. And I can't even offer lunch or a ride to someone who needs it? I am no better than the priests who passed the broken and hurting man on the road, leaving his "enemy" to care for him. I talk about loving others, but when it comes time to put it into practice, I am no good at putting it into practice. At what point did my own safety become of such paramount importance that I neglect the needs of others and the words of the Lord to "do unto the least of these"? He never promised me a safe life; I don't know why I think that I deserve one.

Lord, give me opportunities, give me wisdom, and give me boldness.

Thank You: To My Mom

I realize you might not see this for a while, and it didn't come to you for Mother's Day, as I am a slacker daughter who lives 6 hours away, but wanted to let you know some of the things that make me thankful for YOU!

1) Thank you for being a Godly woman and being the light of Christ in my life.
2) Thank you for always caring enough to have a hot, tasty meal on the table for our family...even after you've had a longer day than any of us.
3) Thanks for your sense of humor, enabling us to laugh at (I mean with) each other and get a kick out of life in general. I appreciate you teaching me not to take myself too seriously.
4) Thanks for teaching me to enjoy the simple pleasures of life: a good book, a sunny day for a picnic, a good movie, plants and making the earth prettier, bubble baths, hot cookies on a rainy day, and quality time spent with family.
5) Thank you for the opportunities you have afforded me so I can travel. Our vacations and experiences around the world have given me such an appreciation for other cultures and a love for the nations. I'll never forget Costa Rica with you....You made me see that country in an entirely different light ;)
6) Thank you for your listening ear. You have always been the one to soothe me when I am distraught and speak wise words to me when I am being melodramatic (or so you think).
7) Thank you for teaching me the value of hard work and earning what I want.
8) Thanks for your positive attitude. Even when I don't agree, your "Speak it, believe it" attitude makes me laugh and lightens the mood.
9) Thank you for setting an amazing example of being a Godly wife and mother. I hope to someday be half the woman you are to my own husband and kids.
10) Thanks for being my best friend. I value our "girl days" when we get massages, go shopping, eat Cinnabons or take a mini road-trip as some of our best memories.

Thanks, mama! Love you.