Terrified

It has just hit me what a huge, messed up, Jesus-needing world I live in.

Frankly, the darkness of people's hearts scares me, and the reality of how God is calling me to be His instrument in the darkness terrifies me. I have no idea what I am doing, only why.

People need to hear the message of the gospel: We are messed-up, disobedient people and therefore, separated from the Holy God. Yes, He loves us, but he is just, and therefore we have to be reconciled to him to bridge the gap between his holiness and our ugly, sinful nature. There was no other way for a lost world to be given access to a perfect God other than through the atoning sacrifice of Christ Jesus. That's it, in a nutshell.

Like a bag of bricks being laid on me, I suddenly realize the implications of committing to be a missionary. It's not going to be an easy, tidy job. It's going to be really hard, and only through the sufficiency of my Savior will it be possible for me to do anything to tell people about Jesus.

So, I have NO idea what my future looks like, only that I am terrified about where it could take me, but also completely assured that the God who saved me will daily be the God who sustains me.