Monday, November 17, 2008

Weary....

I am so tired.

This weekend was a good time of celebrating a friend's birthday, helping out with Bay Leaf's Toy Chest ministry, and studying, but I am left just as tired after two days of "rest" as I was before. I have been working my little tail off to get things done for work and school (1 paper down, 3 to go), and I am ready for a break, but I have another week of stress to go before that happens.

At this point, I'd be really excited if I could get my brain to shut off for a little while. Does that sound strange, considering I need it to be functioning to get all of my assignments and papers done? I definitely need brain power to accomplish the things I need to do, but it would be delightful if, in the rare few moments of mental breaks from work/school, I could truly just mentally rest. Instead, I find that at those moments, my mind and my thoughts attack me, until I am even more mentally wound up from trying to sort through things.

I desire rest, and an end to my mental struggles, but I have a sneaky suspicion it's not over yet. I need time to think things through, pray them through and work them out with the Lord, but I don't see that happening for at least another week or so...Knowing that fact then - that I won't be able to diligently pray/think/wrestle these issues for another week - why can I not just be patient in the meantime?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Lord, I beg you - free me from the prison of my own mind and my thoughts that drag me away from you. Fill me, and teach me to find rest and restoration in you and you alone.

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