Monday, March 30, 2009

Wrestling

Calling...Purpose...Ministry...Jobs...Location...Heart for people...Specifics...

Those are some weighty concepts and ideas that I've been beginning to wrestle through. At this phase of my life, I recognize how discontent I am in what God has given me, and for that I am sorry. I want to be content in Christ alone, and then understand what my calling is as a believer and understand exactly what my purpose is at this exact moment in time. How can I be involved in ministry in the way the Lord would have me be? How do I reconcile my commitment to my job with my desire to actively be in ministry, two things which both require a large chunk of time? Do I just plug into every opportunity the Lord places in front of me? What role does passion for a specific group of people play? Should I wait for clear direction or purpose in how to minister? Why do I not seem to have the passion for a specific group of God's people, like I feel like I ought to?

God, I WANT to be on fire for you and I want to share you...I just don't know what that looks like. I want to be obedient to use the circumstances, gifts, and desires you have given me, but I also want to make sure I am doing it out of obedience to you and what you have for me, and not for any other reason. Lord, I seek you and your direction.

2 comments:

Ginny Alley said...

I totally feel where you are coming from. Seriously, are we living the same life?
I love your post about the random lesbian blog finder. And your pics with Adrian are absolutely adorable!

shaebe27 said...

i love your honesty and desire to know the Lord and know all at once..i think you have a great heart. but in the Lords eyes, people are people. we all need him. i think until he gives you that one specific ministry or purpose. until he leads you to that and allows it to happen, just go out and love people. where ever the chance arises, no matter where they are at. to God we are not labeled my location, just by our need and love for him..im excited for all He has for you!!! i cant wait to see where He leads. in the meantime, right here and right now, anyone who gets to know you and learn of God through you is blessed!
xoxo