Ben....

I have found in the past that writing helps me to get my thoughts sorted out, especially when they're all jumbled. Maybe that's why I chose the field I did. Anyways, here goes on my jumbled thoughts.

I have had my dog Ben, since April, and though I love him a lot, I am debating about whether or not to keep him. He will be 8 months old tomorrow, and he is such a handful. I was hoping that after being in the apartment a while, his behavior would begin to change, and it has a bit, but not significantly. He continues to jump and bite (play-biting though, not meanly) and try to destroy stuff around the apartment. To date, he has chewed up several magazines, chewed the wood trim around the patio door, ripped some paint off the wall in the laundry room. However, his destructiveness seems to be abating some in the last week or so.

Also, he is incredibly hyper. I take him for at least one good walk a day, and usually one other one where I let him off-leash for a bit to run, but his hyper-ness remains. Furthermore, if I am in the room with him, he has to be playing or trying to get my attention. While endearing at times, it also gets exhausting. The only way I have found to subdue him is to give him a bone, but once it's done, he's ready to play again. He also is not even close to a guard-dog, unless you come to the door with a dog yourself or as a giant green trash can.

I cannot decide if all of this is simply a puppy-phase he will grow out of, or not. He doesn't seem to have an overwhelming desire to please, unless it means something good for him.

However, I have seen small improvements over the last week and a half or so. He is more willing to come inside and lay down and watch me cook dinner than he used to be. He also has not been getting in his really feisty biting moods lately, as long as I am willing to devote a specific bit of "Benny time" to him. He has shown a propensity for catching his squeaky toy, which makes him quite delighted to do. Furthermore, he is almost calm on the weekends after taking him to the dog park.

Then, there are the financial considerations, which shouldn't be a concern, but they are. He is all paid for already, including obedience classes which are scheduled to begin next week. However, if I decide to rehome him, I will get the $110 refund on the classes, which I will use to get an older, calmer dog. Also, I need to know if I will have to repay the pet fee at the apartment if I get a different dog...I have found one named Grizzly on Petfinder, who is a calm, companion dog. He is a Newfie mix, who is 100% housetrained, also said to be "the perfect guard-dog." I have a feeling he would require less walks and specific play attention, be more of a cuddler and trustworthy inside, than Ben.

*sigh* I don't think this has made anything any clearer, except that maybe I want two dogs. I don't want to have to give up Ben, but I also want a dog who can sleep in my room through the night, who I feel like would protect me, who is a cuddler, and who I can trust alone in the house, so he's not relegated to the deck or the laundry room unless I am home.

One other consideration, if I do decide to find a new home for Ben. I would love him to go to our friends Pete and Hilly's house. They have about 4 fenced acres, with about 6 other dogs. I think Ben would love it. That, then, presents a new set of logistics to work around if that was the case.

All I can do is pray about the situation, and pray the Lord makes it clear one way or another to me. I want to know what to do. I'm going to end this novel by putting up a picture of my little rascal, as well as a picture of the dog Grizzly (who would have his name changed...)

If anyone reads this, please tell me your thoughts.